vanillish:

adamsmasher:

vanillish:

X

Another stylish choice

(via brynrose)

king-jarrod:

one-time-i-dreamt:

I was at a John Mulaney show and afterwards I managed to get in the elevator with him. It was just us and he said, “Sorry about this, I’m quite inebriated,” then he hit me over the head with a wine bottle and I passed out from the pain.

Every goddamn time

(via furiouslyfeminist)

servicetoprights:

that wasn’t very gay rights of you

(Source: deltarunedyke, via refroged)

julian2006:

ghostguest:

julian2006:

why do so many men speak to you like they’re giving a ted talk

I need a frame of reference here

go and find the nearest man who’s read one book and talk to him

(via summerhuntresses)

cautionlazer:

cautionlazer:

cursedstim:

cursedstim:

hey ohio followers.. I’m sorry

i just rode through your whole state in 4 hours and saw like 3 buildings

hey op where did you see the buildings

where are the buildings op

(via reallouistheroux)

gayclauderains:

Some of u guys really just need to eat a warm butter croissant and settle down a little

(via reallouistheroux)

neilnevins:

Had a dream that McDonald’s had a big ad campaign that just said “WE HAVE IT” in black cryptic writing. So I went to a drive thru and said “I saw the sign. Can I have it” and the speaker was silent for a solid ten seconds before saying “do you think you’re ready” in my voice and I screamed and drove away

(via fleetandflotilla)

mekagojira3k:

stonecrusherproductions:

astoundingbeyondbelief:

deckestar:

no offense but like… why are people obsessed with king kong and godzilla

Big

Loud

Handsome

(via thebootydiaries)

pansexual-alpaca:

pansexual-alpaca:

meanplastic:

Follow him on Instagram!!!! @itsbobbybiiiiiitch

He’s bopping!!!!

(Source: meanplastic, via thechronicleofshe)

limb:

if astrology isn’t real then explain why i’m like this

(via brynrose)

fuiru:

“One of my favourite Steve Jobs stories was the time the engineers working on the iPod brought their finished prototype to him in his office. He said it was too big, they needed to make it smaller. They said it was as small as they could make it, it couldn’t be made any smaller. So he took the prototype over to his aquarium and dropped it in. The iPod sank to the bottom, and as it did, tiny little bubbles came out. ‘See those bubbles,’ he asked. ‘They’re air inside the iPod. Make it smaller.’

“Another story about Steve Jobs was when they brought the prototype for the iPad 2 to his office. The engineers told him it was faster than the first iPad. He took it over to his aquarium and dropped it in. ‘Look how slowly it sank,’ he told them. ‘Make it faster.’

“One time a newly hired intern had been sent out to get Steve a sandwich. When she brought it to him, he looked at it. ‘I thought I ordered the beef on rye,’ he asked. She told him it was indeed beef on rye. He took it over to his fish tank and dropped it in. ‘Does that look like beef on rye?’

“He was always dropping things in that fish tank. We couldn’t stop him. We told him he had to stop, he wouldn’t listen. It was full of stuff that shouldn’t be in an aquarium.

“The fish had all died years ago. One had been crushed under an early generation iMac. The others were all poisoned. He didn’t care.

“It got to the point where there was no room for anything in the fish tank. When we emptied it after he died, we found a body in there. We never found out who it was.”

(via brynrose)